Sunday, May 9, 2010

My First Mother's Day and Randomness.

First of all, Happy Mothers Day to all the mommies, omas, sisters, and mommies of pets out there! My first mother's day was very special. I treated myself to a hair cut and my husband helped our baby girl make it a special day. I got whole wheat banana blueberry pancakes made for me, and then I was gifted a potted flower for our front porch that my baby picked out and a bottle of latte flavour. I feel really loved today, though the day isn't without it's sad moments. We lost my husband's mother last year, so while it is my first mother's day, it's my hubby's first without his mom. So we celebrated the day for me yesterday and today he went to bring our parrot to his father's house and then went with his dad and brother to buy flowers and bring them to his mom's grave site. Having lost my sister at a young age to a heart condition I understand the pain of losing someone, but I can't even imagine the pain my husband must be feeling right now. I just want to hold him and take all his pain away. The loss is also one of the big reasons I'm so successful in my journey this time. I don't want my baby girl to be without her mom for a long, long time and to do that I need to take better care of myself.

My new modo is "the dishes and laundry will still be there tomorrow, but I will never be able to make up all the runs I've missed". I have learned that my house does not need to be 100% spotless all the time, and I can put things off for a day (today I didn't sweep but I ran for 40 minutes on the treadmill) and take care of it tomorrow. I need to make myself a priority.

This week are are leaving for a vacation to go to Germany to see my grandparents. I'm both excited and nervous. Both my Opas found out last year they have cancer. One is doing well and is cancer free right now, the other isn't and we don't know if he'll still be with us next year so brining Lillian to meet them is very important. I'm nervous about the flight since Lilly has never been in a plane before (please let her sleep through it) and I'm not a huge fan of flying. I never had problems flying when I was younger, but since I got married, and (in my own words) now have something I can't imagine losing I am rather scared of it. But I know we'll be fine, just my stomach is bugging me because that's where fear hits me. But we'll arrive and be safe and I'll have to find a place to run in Germany while visiting my family. Right now I spend most of my worring about whether Lillian's care seat will make it with us there. C'est la vie!

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