Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Ran again.

Okay so I'm officially a crazy running woman. I ran outside today in 6 degrees, sunny weather with my 22lbs toddler in her jogging stroller for 5.3 km. I only ran at a 6km/hr pace but I did have to push her and I am 30 weeks pregnant so I think I'll cut myself some slack. I'm also feeling really tired. Today was supposed to be my day of rest but due to an appointment my home daycare lady had to close at 12:30pm today so instead of picking Lillian up at 4:30 I had to pick her up at 12:30pm. It was nice that I got her at nap time so she slept from 1-3pm but it was still a long day. So I at least managed to run, and am really proud of that. I've been feeling really down this week since my weight gain this pregnancy is just CRAZY and I feel huge and fat and am really unhappy about it. I've already gained more than I did with Lillian and that scares me. While I know it's going to be worth it I'm still feeling really scared that I won't be able to lose it all with two little babies (under 2 years old) and I'll be back to being fat and unhealthy. Those feelings make me want to cry. So now I've released them into the internet and hope they will stop haunting me.

Above is a lovely photo of my daughter eyeing her daddy's Jello. She managed to get him to share it with her, and I had to get him a second bowl since she ate most of that one. After that we actually made her, her own batch of Jello.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Still Running and Loving it!

Woot! I got another run in today. That's 2 for this week so far, and I'm planning another one tomorrow, though timing for it will be a bit challenging. My hubby has to do a 21km training run tomorrow so that's a good 2 to 2 1/2 hours. That means I need to run during nap time for the baby or take her with me if I want to run around lunch, which right now is my prime energy time so I need to take advantage of that. If I leave it too long I can't run because by dinner I'm exausted and don't have the energy to do it. So I'm proud that I finished my run again, and it has helped to boost my mood a little this week. I've still had some bad or sad moments but I feel more in control of them. I've also made more time for doing things I enjoy and what relaxes me. Thanks to my mom's help I've not finished 3 whole baby quilts for all my friends that I know who are expecting or trying at this time, so that makes me feel good. Below is a picture of my daughter and husband playing with our lovebird. As you can see she is delighted to be so close to him.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Best of intentions.

I wanted to run tonight but as per usual my hubby neglected to update me on what time he was going to be home. He said he'd be home around 7:15pm so I figured he'd run first and then I could run after him, but he didn't show up until almost 8pm. So I love my husband with all my heart, but sometimes his blatant disregard of my time is a bit annoying. I wish that he would have called me to let me know since I had energy around 7pm and could have jumped on at 7:15pm and gotten a little walk in.

I love him very much but would like him to think of someone other than himself a bit. Maybe if I just show up 45 minutes late for our lunch date tomorrow he'll learn how much it sucks to be left out of the loop and forgotten about. I doubt I'll actually do that since I get really hungry and eating late is not my idea of fun. At least I have a day off tomorrow so I am hoping to get a run in some time between dropping Lillian off at daycare and having lunch with my hubby. So I can do my run and then decide to just show up for lunch when I feel like it. Muhahaha that'll show him.

I'm bad I know.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Finally getting over another cold.

So as my title tells I have been really sick as of this past week. I am starting to feel better today which is nice. Since this evil cold has struck my husband, my daughter and myself we decided that today would be a nice restful day after home. Especially since the little miss was up a lot last night coughing and when she wasn't awake coughing, I was, so it was a VERY long night.

Lillian trying to tuck herself into our bed and bounce on it.

But after a long night of coughing and waking up to cough and running to check my monkey or to the bathroom. So my hubby to the graveyard shift with her, and I took the morning shift so I have been up since 7:30am and it is a long day. But after tidying up our house, doing some baking for a bake sale at work tomorrow (in support of the humane society) and getting a lot of rest on the couch. So now that I'm starting to feel more like me, I am looking forward to getting back to running and sleeping at least part of the night. I already wake up 1 to 3 times to go to the bathroom or roll over, so waking up hourly to cough is no fun!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Sunshine is my new best friend.

So little miss Lillian is sick but that didn't stop me from taking her outside for a 5km jog today. The sun was out, it was over 7 degrees, and it was beautiful! So I bundled up the baby, gave my mom a bit of rest, and took her with me for my first outside road run of 2011! It felt amazing and I am so glad that I went for it. I think I should do more Wednesday afternoon outside runs. Especially since I'm supposed to be taking some mental health days now thanks to my OB. I'm happy he feels they are a good idea since I can use up my left over vacation and not feel guilty about it. After all, it's doctors orders! Alright time for be for me and my little monkey. The big monkey has a cold and has been keeping me up at night.

As promised below is my 28 week belly shot.

A bit of creepy expression but you get the point. I'm HUGE!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Worked Some things out.

Okay. So I managed to have a nice run and brunch with my best running friend on Saturday. We did a nice 4.11km run (which I'll get around to putting on dailymile) and talked a lot over lunch. Then on Monday I say my OB and the baby is doing well, nice strong heart beat, and his recommendation for my feelings were not drugs but to use up some of my left over vacation time and take what he called "mental health days'. I promised him if I feel worse I'll call him or my family doctor right away. So now I'm taking every Wednesday afternoon or whole day off for the next while. I hope it helps because I'm starting to feel off again. This weekend helped pick me up a bit but now I'm feeling off again and I don't like feeling this way.

Tomorrow is my 28 week mark so look forward to a new belly shot soon!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Really Sad.

I know women can get postpartum but is there such a thing as prepartum?

See how shocked she is at my horrible behavior.
I don't know what is wrong with me but I'm SOOOO depressed this pregnancy. Maybe it's because my girlfriends aren't pregnant with me this time. Or maybe because my husband is never home because he has to drop Lillian off at daycare and so gets home between 7:30 and 8pm and our munchkin is already in bed by that time. Or maybe it's because I haven't slept through the night since November. Or maybe it's because I feel really lonely lately. I honestly don't know but I feel horrible about it. I enjoyed being pregnant with Lillian so much. I couldn't wait to hold her and was so excited to meet her and really enjoyed being pregnant and just loved the whole process. But this time around, I hate it.

I was afraid to get attached to my baby because of my thyroid issues increasing my chances of a miscarriage. Then once the 12 week mark hit I felt better but the baby had no nickname so I had to wait to find out  if the baby was a boy or a girl. Once we knew, my husband couldn't decide on a name, so I had to wait for that. Now I'm 27 weeks along and I just want it to END! I keep running, but I can't run at the speed or distance that I am used to so it doesn't give me the endorphins that I need to feel better. So now I feel horrible because I'm not enjoying this pregnancy and I just want it to be over.

I really wish I could talk to my girlfriends about this but the one who I usually go to is dealing with personal stuff, the other one is trying to get pregnant so I feel bad complaining about my pregnancy when she wants to be pregnant SO badly, and the rest are pregnant with their first and I don' want to scare them with my horrible mothering.

So I just sit around at home and cry and get angry at everyone and then cry more and feel horrible about it. Thanks for letting me rant. Only 90 days until my due date to go. God give me strength.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Starting to feel it.

Okay so I still want to keep running and when I am running I feel fantastic and alive and I know it's helping keep me from gaining a tonne of weight, but I'm starting to feel it a lot more after, at least that's what my hubby thinks. My exercise is helping me to fall asleep quickly and easily in the evening, but it may be causing some cramps in my legs too. I know pregnancy causes a lot of funny things and I have read about it making your legs feel odd but I have it in one particular muscle on both sides. I figure I'll keep the running going and when I see my OB in two weeks I'll ask him if what I'm feeling is common and let him decide what I should be doing, if anything, about it.

I've also been thinking a lot lately, most likely induced by my hormonal past few days, especially since so many of our friends are expecting and having babies right now. My old roommate from university (who I still keep in touch with) became an aunt again, and her nephew was born just before 38 weeks. Is it bad that, this makes me jealous? I also know a few pregnant woman, most of whom I am trying to make a baby quilt for, I plan to spend a lot of time next week quilting while my mother is up visiting, and am very excited that my daughter is going to have more playmates. I also know a few couples, at least two, who are trying right now too, so it's just baby, baby, baby in my world right now.

So next week I'll be posting my next belly shots to show off my ever growing bump and I'll keep you posted when I get my butt back on the treadmill again. I do have another "run and brunch" planned for Saturday so if I slack until then at least I have one good run planned already!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Crazy Hormones.

Okay, so I think the title says it all. My hormones are all wonky today and all I want to do is cry. I lost it on my husband today and yelled and cried all at the same time because our kitchen was a mess and it only got worse when I came back from running errands with the baby. So later to try to figure out some of our cleaning issues I reorganized the tea cupboard, and yes we have a tea cupboard because of how much tea we have, cleaned the whole kitchen and moved around our parrot stuff so we could give Lillian more space to store her play stuff. I figure the living room is where she plays over 80% of her play time so she needs enough space for her toys. So by moving our parrot's toys into a pretty box onto a shelf and her seeds into the laundry room (where 40lbs bags belong) we got a huge cupboard of space for her large toys and books! So that means if my husband is really busy he can just scoop the toys and throw them in her boxes and the cupboard in no time! I know he's crazy busy all week and I want him to be able to do his chores as fast and efficient as possible. So I'm a little sad that I only got 2 runs in this week, but both were Random hill runs and I did a lot of socializing with girlfriends so I think it was a fair compromise. Below is a photo of my funny monkey with I have no idea what on her shirt that makes me smile. Hope your day was less hormonal than mine!