Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Motivation.

Lately I've been pondering a lot of what motivates me. Since I'm a busy mom of two beautiful girls a small lack in motivation can throw me off for days. For others a slight slip can sent them off course for weeks! So I've been thinking a lot about what keeps me going when I really don't want to while others seem to be slipping all around me.

Now, I should start by noting that I am not perfect and in no way am looking down on anyone who has slipped. I've admitted my mistakes on this blog many times (Halloween candy ring a bell?) and will continue to do so, but something inside of me just clicked after Lillian was born and often 'slacking' is just NOT an option. I truly hope that everyone one day experiences this. I come from Germany and my family just does things and gets it done. My mom and I unpacked our entire house in one weekend after we moved into our house. My hubby and some friends helped but I'll be honest, my mother and I did around 75% of it. We are just crazy hard working type people and won't accept defeat, which is how I try to look at my weight loss and my running.

Sure there are days where I'd much rather eat 2L of ice cream and watch TV ALL day, but I don't. There are days where I could eat a horse I'm so hungry but I don't. I do slip up too, and nibble too much, but something in me stops me 95% of the time, and I'm wondering if that makes me a freak or just determined. I've been down to 147lbs and want to get back there again. I know how hard I had to work to get there after Lillian and since it's round 2 I'll have to work even harder to do it again because it's less of a shock to my body this time around. I feel tired some days and I know running is what will help me get thin and be fit. Not running will result in me being unhealthy, and not being around for my daughters. When I need to push myself to run I think of my girls. I picture their faces, I picture my sister who died as a child, and think of all the loved ones I've lost and remember that I have to live for them. And I go for it.

I push myself to be here for my husband, my daughters, for the sister who didn't get the chance to grow up, for my mother-in-law who didn't get to meet her granddaughters, and my opa who didn't get to meet Katrina. I want to be healthy and happy so that I can be around to love them, and honour their memories. And to be honest, I want to be MILF.

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