Saturday, September 1, 2012

Who is this woman?

It's 10:45pm on a Saturday night, and I cannot sleep. This has not really been so much of an issue for me since we started going to bed earlier and axed the technology in the bedroom, but tonight my mind will not shut off and I cannot get to sleep. I am mulling so many things over in my brain that I never thought I would ever consider and now I can't stop.

We have discussed the possibility of trying for third (and final) baby in 2013, and my loving husband has left the final decision up to me. Tonight, I looked up prices for larger cars and was mentally tearing down his office (which is located in our 4th bedroom upstairs) and figuring out where to put his office stuff and how to furnish a room just for my itty bitty (Katrina) to make it special for her (considering it is the smallest room), or whether having the two girls share the huge room Lillian is in would be the better option. I always swore no matter what Steve's office would forever be his. With a fireplace moving into the basement, and my mom taking some of her stuff home with her in the next while, we could split his office into two parts, where a minimal amount lives in our bedroom (since my sewing stuff could move to the vacated space in the basement that my mother will be freeing up first) and the rest lives in the basement or even storage for a little while. I mean honestly, a lot of his stuff is old computer JUNK he could reduce down, or finally throw out, like those high school binders! So even though I have not fully made up my mind, I think you know where my heart is heading, and that makes me think of how it would effect my department at work, my family, my body, my running, my life. But then I look at the faces of my girls and think, why not just one more.

But in addition to that I'm looking forward to my tempo run on Monday. It's going to be a hot one so I'm trying to figure out the best time to squeeze it in but leave time for my family. I also am getting a bit nervous (I know my coach hates that word) about the race coming up. Honestly I'm more worried about leaving my babies for that long than about the race. I know I can punch out 42.2km, especially if the weather cooperates, but not seeing my girls for 36-48 hours? That's scary!

I'm also planning my Thanksgiving and Christmas menu (far off I know but the in-laws are invited to both, and I am only making 1 turkey and if it's thanksgiving I need to call the local farm soon, and if it's not I need to figure out what the heck I'm making instead), and have figured out what I want to buy the girls. I think they are old enough for a doll house. So since I love Plan Toys I want to buy their doll house, and then get the family to each buy a room set. The sets are not too pricey ($20-$30) so everyone can buy just 1 and then still get them whatever they wanted to in the first place. But then they get a beautiful, furnished doll house, that is sturdy enough for their ages, made from environmentally friendly stuff, and bought by everyone! I don't think I could have come up with a better idea, but now I need to get everyone else on board.

Stupidly enough, I'm also nervous about work. Next week the1st year students hit campus and the week after all hell breaks lose and my busiest week of the whole year hits. I haven't been in this position since 2010 so it's a bit nerve racking and I'm just concerned I'll mess something up royally and everyone will be mad at me. I know that's silly but stranger things have happened, and I am the one who decides if a student gets into our program, or more to the point, if they can graduate. Some days I love my job very much, but lately I just don't feel like I'm back in the swing of things yet.

So add all that to the extra coffee I drank because I was up before 6am today (thanks to a squeaky baby - and yes I still want another noise maker) and I am up wondering, and worrying, and wishing I could see into the future just a little bit! Ramble and/or rant, over!

The smiling face of a woman who looks like she has it all together, but really has no clue! :)

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